nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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