did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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