i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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