i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
