that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
