Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
