Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
