You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Your cock deserves a montage
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize