At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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