I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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