dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
