some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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