Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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