do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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