yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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