Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she told me i tasted like america
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
