What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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