i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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