i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
