my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
