dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
