Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
