we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
