Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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