guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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