he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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