i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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