think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
