yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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