Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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