i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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