He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
