Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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