no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
