the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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