Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
