No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
