Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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