Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
