I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
