I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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