Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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