It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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