And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
