This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
