Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
