ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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