I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
