I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
