oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
she peed on how many people?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
