Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
