I hate your face
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
